Thursday, March 31, 2011

a little UPDATE

Found this while looking up  tx weather.

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy".  I call mine "Sex".  He's a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex.  He said, "I'd like one, too!"  Then I said "But this is a dog."  He said he didn't care what she looked like.  Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old."  He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.  I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.  He said, "You don't need a special room.  As long as you pay your bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand,  Sex keeps me awake at night."  The clerk said, "Funny -- I have the same problem."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away.  Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed.  I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.  He told me I should have sold my own tickets.  "But you don't understand,"  I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV."  He said, "Now that cable is all over the place it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.  I said"Your honor, I had Sex before I was married."  The judge said,"This courtroom isn't a confessional.  Stick to the case."  Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.  He said that's not unusual, it happens to lots of people.
Last night Sex ran off again.  I spent hours looking around town for him.  A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?"  I told him that i was looking for Sex.  My case comes up Friday.

OK yall, enough typing for a day, really gonna have to figure out how to transfer.


  1. A long time ago back in the days of high school or before, I named my dog stupid, seemed like a good idea until I was in the vicinity of other people when I called him. There was always a couple of them that thought I was refering to them and took it kinda personal.